Sex, sex and more sex: the curious cases of clitoral envy

“I am a woman and I love sex!” 

Don’t you? 


                                                                (more like from my finger tips, in this case)

This, I am directing to all the prudes and would be moral-thread weavers. It seems so shocking that women have sex and actually enjoy having it…having it good, I might add. Don’t you even dare turn up your nose at this truth!  It seems to me as if the people in this my nation, become outraged whenever there is any slight indication or mention of women having sex. Be it when women allegedly go out on ‘men-raping sprees’ or when we stand on street corners and opt to offer men a warmer and more lubricated inducer (when compared to the hand) of their big O in exchange for some Obamas or some Zumas. (I won’t add that the inducer being sought IS the accepted modus operandi towards these men’s sexual satisfaction. I am not talking about the morality or immorality of this besides, no one is really bothered to cast the morality light when it comes to men’s sexual activities as well as their sexual satisfaction…)

Coitus is largely regarded to be between two consenting adults and we have thus far let it to be that way. There are, of course, variations to this generally accepted ‘norm’ and yet, once again, I will not delve into that. I have a huge bone to chew with the society from which I come…more accurately, with some of the media elements that are operating within it. It seems as if sexual intercourse and more-so, sexual satisfaction (please understand Orgasm), is the sole prerogative for men. 


                                                                   (no need to raise your hands or smirk)

Most people masturbate (men, this is not just you, btw) and yet we all keep it to ourselves. It’s not like these women were masturbating in public spaces, excuse you!!! The way I have understood this, there were two people behind the covers of their walls (bedroom, rented hotel/ lodge or whatever housed them at that point, it does not matter.) These adults were probably Full Monty (who really knows…at the time of this I am not aware of any information pertaining to the dress code in the aforementioned ‘tapes’ nor do I want to be acquainted with that knowledge). Up to this point (at least as far as the ‘tapes’ and/ pics) the couple(s) are engaging in (hopefully) some amazingly hot and satisfying sexual intercourse…just like any other consenting adults would be if they were in their own private space. 

I will look at the so-called ‘morality cry’ that is being raised and used to attack women who appear in the privately recorded vids. Anyone who is NOT married and is having sex had better shut up at this point. Anyone who IS married and is having extra-marital sex- shut up ! Going Biblical here, anyone who IS NOT MARRIED and is masturbating themselves to orgasm, and YOU as well who is still a sexual intercourse virgin but is or has (been) kissed (as an expression of sexual desire) and has (been) touched someone else in a sexual manner. Let me say it as it is….s/he who has LOOKED at a member of the opposite sex and THOUGHT of them in sexual terms (Jesus Christ Himself says so in the Word, look it up yourself.) This individual MUST just shut up and get angry with the right person…the individual who saw it fit to so distastefully such privacy with the public. That is where the shame belongs, with the sick person who probably has sticky fingers and a web history of porn sites and has finds it amazing that two adults in Zimbabwe can capture themselves having sex on a video. As far as I am concerned, this is no different to how others prefer using ribbed, studded, flavored etc condoms, nor is it any different to the various games people play to enhance their enjoyment of coitus: (being) BDM or any other styles of getting funky and wild. I don’t care about what you like or do not like between the covers, as long as it is not in our face. 


                                                                     (it’s not just men, btw)

(Perhaps the fascination does not lie in the sex tapes themselves but rather in how the women in the sex tapes are real women. Women that we know (at least as vaguely as we can), women with whom we share this very air we breathe. Women, unlike the favorite porn stars on those X-rated sites men (and some women, at that) tend to stroke and touch themselves to mindless ecstasy in the privacy of their homes and offices. These women speak and understand our own mother tongue and…OH HORROR of all horrors, they are not paid/-hired-drugged-and-probably-sex-slaving-young-women-from-some-other-amoral-corner-of-the-immoral-world. The jury is still out on whether the porn stars ‘act’ the pleasure or that is really how (some) women enjoy sexual intercourse. {The little birdie in my ear whispers that most of the guys in them vids are a fairly accurate representation of the ‘average package’ give or take a few enhancers…lol, sorry Mr Pinkie…and that’s a lot of you}. Coming back to my point, I think the fascination and the outrage by most people is at how the Zimbabwean women who have been on the receiving end of sex-tape backlash  defy convention and do what most people are too prude to carry out. These women have dared to do what the ‘immoral’ ones do by recording their pleasure! 

For whatever reason that they recorded these vids, I say way to go. Be it for a post-mortem, private viewing, private pleasurable archives or just for the heck of it, atta girls! It’s long overdue that we stop apologizing for wanting and enjoying sex. After all, the clitoris is the only body part whose SOLE function is to solicit pleasure and guess what, it is only us women who have it!! This, I believe, is why some men just hate women and will try at every turn to bring us down through name-calling. They somehow feel emasculated for either failing to be a useful and pleasurable part of sex with their own partners or is it because they fear that their own women will begin to demand that sex becomes enjoyable for them (the women) as the vids show the other women to be enjoying? Hameno, I can only speculate. 

Ps: To YOU who will try and name-call me for baring it like this;

    “Deep down, you are scared senseless that this woman has called you out. It IS JUST sex and this whole business of mouthing off at privately done stuff that has, through some twisted individual suffering from acute clitoral envy, made it into the public domain…your mouthing off does not change that people have sex! Moreover, women are usually a significant part of that act, the half of it to be exact…lol! Get over it and put the shame right where it belongs, with the people who publish private stuff seeking to stir up anger and disgust where it is not. After all, chakafukidza dzimba matenga. Why is anyone seeking to unroof the house? 


{Ps: I suspect my internet is male and held my post in the drafts folder due to clitoral envy….lol}

7 thoughts on “Sex, sex and more sex: the curious cases of clitoral envy

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  2. you are absolutely AMAZING!!! Thank you for your much needed honesty!! I think if I did want to leave my own “2 cents” I couldn’t because you have literally said all there is possibly to say. Again thank you very much. WOW


    • Thank you so much for your kind words. I am humbled. I believe that we owe it to ourselves to speak out on the issues that touch us, in one way or the other, as women and as a society.

      Thank you as well for the reblog. Much appreciated


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