HIV/AIDS: my own reasoning and recommendations

I know that I was meant to share my AIR TO BED entry but something more pressing came thru.

This goes primarily to those in the HIV/AIDS sector:
Can we have programs that are all-ages inclusive? I’m tired of hearing ‘young people this, young people that’. We all know that young people are not the key players in this. We have a lot of irresponsible older men and women who are central to MCPs (multiple concurrent partners) but I hear vague and passing comments/advice directed toward them. It’s usually ‘young girls have sugar daddies/young men have sugar mummies’ etc
And the tone is downright disgusted and conveys just how ‘immoral’ such acts are.

However I’m yet to hear the same tone directed at the very ‘sugar’ adults. Maybe I’m wrong but can we look at it and see how we can begin to attack this holistically? After all, it’s these old men who prey on young women. It is these older people who make themselves ‘irresistible’ to the young, foolish and highly impressionable young folk.

Let’s not run away from the truth and reality here- do we blame the passenger for boarding a Kombi or we blame the driver/Kombi for making an illegal stop? The truth is this- stats show that infection rate of HIV is around 8% in youths whilst in ‘full’ adults it’s higher, the rate even higher among married women!

I’m aware that the general infection rate globally has declined in adults but is doubling amongst the youths. In my small reasoning, I’ve subtracted those who were born HIV positive and I’m left with the HIV free youths engaging in sex amongst themselves. Let’s assume, there’s no infection here or at least the rate is negligible. My small thinkin then goes on to ask- who’s introducing HIV to the young people to cause such an alarming rate of infection? My small thinkin tells me it’s the silent adults who are coming thru and ‘proving’ that they are the next best thing to have ever happened to youths since clubbing became an  everyday thing.

Yet we rarely address this. We have politicians who have extra marital affairs including sleeping around with young girls and boys yet not a word is said! We protect the ‘integrity’ of the leaders! Whiskey Tango Fox-trot!!! We have leaders who have children all over the shore yet we turn blind eyes to these stupid acts because ‘men do that’ Wait a minute, we are teaching young men the ABCEFGHIs of life yet when the very same boys are now ‘men’ the lessons no longer apply and can be chucked away? What’s wrong with that picture?

It seems to me as if morals only apply to young men and all women but don’t apply when it comes to ‘men’ and sex! How else do we explain the cursing of women who have extra-marital affairs or who choose to have sexual partners without the ‘dignity’ of marriage’ yet we ‘expect’ and anticipate’ for men to be sexual conquerors of all and any woman in sight? This duplicity is one of the reasons, if not the major reason why fighting HIV in our very ‘cultural’ and heavily patriarchal parts of the world is such a feat.

Until we take a stance and demand that men face up to their actions and begin to act according to the dictates of pure manhood, we’re fighting a losing battle. We’re going round in circles and expecting, even planning, that we’re on course to a destination that lies somewhere outside this circle. Until we take off the burden of fighting HIV/AIDS from the shoulders of the youth and place it upon the adults, we’re fighting a losing battle because youth is only but for a moment.

To begin with, it’s the adults who’ve let down the baton of openly discussing growth, maturity, responsibility and sexual health issues with the young people. If that generation of mothers and fathers, aunts and uncles had not let that other generation of youth to their own devices, we might not even be in this situation. Now, we’re trying to bolt the pen after the horse has bolted out! That generation of adults inserted the seed of irresponsibility into adulthood and the seed seems to be spouting shoots all over the shore and growing deeper!

Can we have parents who are real parents? Who care enough about the future of their children such that they not only teach their children about growing up, but include lessons on responsibility, accountability and also on sexual health issues. I’m seeking for that generation of parents who are not two faced enough to be teaching their offspring yet sneaking behind their biological children`s backs and sleeping with their children`s peers. We cannot be raising young people who are encouraged to Abstain, Be faithful to one uninfected partner [that reminds me, are we then saying that it’s okay to cheat on infected partners? Just asking aloud], young people who Correctly and consistently use Condoms as well as Delaying early sexual activity yet once they become adults, we expect and even anticipate that
‘men are attracted to younger, ‘fresher’ women whom they each want to deflower (whatever all that nonsense even means I won’t hazard to guess)? Once adults, these ‘men’ will ‘taste and sample’ and ‘thrive on variety’? Once these young men are married ‘they don’t use condoms in the marital bed‘?

What is all this coz I’m confused by our society? I’m confused by how much we groom teams to fill in the very wells that we’re digging. Can we get this whole conversation begin to address everyone and not just THE select few?


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