Royal and ancient

Some refreshing truths right here: “I find it sad that even women have bought into this “token of appreciation” nonsense. If lobola was appreciation for parents birthing you a partner, surely both parties would pay some kind of appreciation to the others parents, eh.”


2 thoughts on “Royal and ancient

  1. I was honoured to be able to honour my wife’s family through roora. And I believe that through that special day’s rituals, my relationship with my mother-in-law was irrevocably deepened.
    What I did not expect, none of my family did, was her decision not to “throw” her bouquet at the wedding, but to present it to my mother.

    Honour both ways, yes. Is one better than the other because it is not “normal”? Maybe.
    But what is important is that the heart is in the honour, and that “honour” does not become synonymous with “placate”.


    • So the honor that was shown to your mother was enough in the bouquet of flowers? Wow, so valued, if I may say. So was that the end of it all? Was the honoring bit sealed by those two actions? So, if I were to take your example, your wife has no honour for your father, because she did nothing for him? Have you finished paying the bride price, if I may ask? If you haven’t, taking teh same argument, then it means that your honour is incomplete…given that the Shona believe in the never drying pockets of the son in law as well as in the never finalization of the roora process, your honour will forever be incomplete. Just saying wo hangu.

      By the gesture that your wife chose- of giving your mother the bouquet- she started her own tradition, if it will be continued, but did absolutely nothing for the old tradition that has its own meaning and significance. It is no honour throwing the bouquet just some superstitious belief that whoever catches it is the next to get married. I assume that you threw the garter that you took from her thigh and that one of the single men in teh room caught it, meaning that he is next to get hitched? Once again, no honor in that but a superstitious belief. If you did not do that garter thing, you took shortcuts and according to Shona culture, that spells doom for your marriage.

      LOL, let me laugh out loud at this confusion that is pervading us as a people. Our traditions are slowly being called out for what they really mean yet at the same time, we are adopting traditions that we barely understand well. shame maningi on us.

      My two cents.

      Ps: i mean no harm by my utterances, just used what examples you gave me to make my points. Hope you take no offence.


Care to share?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s