I’m seated on my bed (do I say that I’m seated IN my bed?) a day after my 14th 20th birthday 😉 and I’m thinking… Why did God create full grown adults? I mean, He could have created babies and seen them grow and all that but (or do I say ‘hey’?) The Almighty One chose Adam and Eve to be full grown adults. At least that’s the impression most of us have. He could also have just created old people.
I recently came across a clip of a miracle performed by one ‘man of God’, Emmanuel Makandiwa, and the discussion around it had me check out the video and I came up with several questions of my own. I hope you can help me answer them.
So, this woman has “weight” taken off her stomach area yet the one around her arms was left intact? It is still visible as she is waving away, presumably going back to her seat. Wait a minute, what about that “weight” above her waistline, the one ABOVE the “tight” middle part of her dress- why was that left there? Why does the dress remains tight around her bosom? In addition, her neck still has that “ring”? I am really questioning this “miracle” here, I am and I need clarity. Jesus told several people to go and get checked by others who had knowledge of verifying the new state of those who had received His miracles- “Go and show yourself to the priest” He told some guy in the Bible:
“And Jesus saith unto him, See thou tell no man; but go thy way, shew thyself to the priest, and offer the gift that Moses commanded, for a testimony unto them”
Ini hangu, I am one person who wants to understand this “new state” of this woman. Am I the only one?
My other question is this:
Why, beyond this church, do we not hear of the people who have received these miracles? It seems it just ends with them and their papa and fellow sons and daughters of the prophets.
In Jesus’ time, He forbade people to talk about Him and what He had just done but the people went out telling all and sundry. Remember the two blind men? Who forbade today’s recipients of ‘Jesus’ goodness’ to go out and tell the world of their miracles? How come the local broadcaster, terrible and starved of great content as it is, is not flooded by these ‘miracle’ recipients and their families, friends and even neighbours etc to verify and testify to these miracles?
“Mat 9:30-31: And their eyes were opened; and Jesus straitly charged them, saying, See that no man know it. But they, when they were departed, spread abroad his fame in all that country.”
Interesting that these people also then become “sons and daughters of papa” yet, when some of the people who opted to follow Jesus, they then effectively left the then “church.” Yes, why are we now in an era of crowds seeking “papa”s and “mama”s and not seeking after Jesus?
Reading my Bible, I noticed that even deacons within the church performed miracles, signs and wonders. Look at Stephen, he healed, cast out demons, flew Air HolyGhost, preaching JESUS throughout many cities. How come it seems signs and wonders are only by the “men and women of God” and the believers do nothing but cry out “Hee papa, hee mama, hee man of God, Amen” etc? Where is the power of the church? Where is the move of the Holy Spirit in these churches? Why are these men and women of God and not by the lay people only doing the “greater things than these”? How come it is the ‘power’ of these prophets and prophetesses that people are spreading and not the power of God? Peter raised Dorcas from the DEAD, yes, from the dead and yet we do not hear of Peter’s power but that people believed in God because of these miracles! I recall Paul and Barnabus renting their clothes after people identified them to be gods! Yes, these two men had just healed a lame man and the city went ballistic in celebration but the two put a stop to the insanity of the idea that they would be likened to gods! How come we do not hear the anger of today’s prophets in refuting the idea/reality of being given such high “honour” of even having people cursing anyone who dares question them? Interesting that these so-called believers rush to quote the scripture, “Touch not my anointed” yet Paul was stoned and left for dead for refusing to be honoured ‘as a god’ instead of Christ receiving that honour. It is all part of the hazards of the territory, me says. Vachiri kungobvunzwa chete? Ah, havasati, vachatosvika pakuponderwa Jesu uyu, me says!
I want to quote one of my favourite pastors who quotes the Bible in a way I want to share with everyone else:
PC aka Pastor Craig Ndoro says: “The Bible says, ‘Be ye transformed by the RENEWAL of your minds’ and not by the REMOVAL of your minds.” I must agree with him, many of today’s believers have removed minds, simple- hakuna kufunga! There, I said it.
Damn it! I talk to myself. Yes, ndinotaura ndega. I talk to myself so many times a day and it helps me function “normally”. I hate it when I don’t talk to me because I forget my thoughts. Imagine, I have just scrolled thru my phone yet I forgot why I wanted the phone in the first place.
i also tend to go back to the task or room I was doing/ at so that I recall what I want in the room I have just entered. Yes, I do that a lot. And I do that a lot when I forget to talk to myself. When I talk to myself, I remember much more easily what I want or why I am where I am and the like.
I also tend to hold conversations with myself. There is a difference between talking to myself and holding conversations with myself. In talking to myself, I tell myself stuff that I do not want to forget…stuff such as, “go back and edit that Facebook post you want to post because they will surely pick you up this time” LOL. In holding entire conversations I tend to just talk to myself and respond to myself. Yes, I do. It is like there are two or more MEs who are having an exchange of sorts. Not necessarily heated but words are shared. Not gossip, although I tend to do that, too. Well, it is safer than doing it with someone else- kinda like a masturbation of gossip. LOL
Anyway, when I have entire conversations with myself, I tend to experience a whole host of emotions. kinda like:
Duh, you can be quite a mouthful, at times, R.
Of course, I am. What did you think I would be? A boot-lick like those Zanu apologists? (LOL, a part of me even laughs right now. It is just not the part that is recalling a recent conversation, so go figure.)
You can be more subtle, you know?
Subtle?? Ha!!! Does she even know the word? (Yes, another part of me interrupts rudely, uninvited and like that random stranger on the kombi ride who butts into your conversation forcing you into an awkward silence. You know the one I am talking about… I have been her. 😉 )
Shut up and mind your business! (I will rarely be silenced, even by that rude and random part of me. RMEs- rolling my eyes)
So what did you say this time around? (Another part of me, this one is the really curious one and she almost always gets me into trouble when she pitches up. She always wants to know the WHAT or else the WHY. I suspect that she is the one who pushes me into discovering they HOW of it. Ayaas)
I did not say anything I did not mean. (The sheepish side responds. I even see her looking down. I don’t know how she is even a part of me. Shy?? ha!! she needs a bit of spine! I will teach her!)
Yet you said what you meant, right? (That rude stranger again. #sigh this time she is spotting a huge smile. The one that has lit up her semi cat-eyes and they are sparkling with that insatiable need to be confirmed right. I am kinda reminded of how a piece of sh@&t you have walked past is somehow lingering in the air making you think that you probably have stepped on it but are afraid to look beneath your shoe. Why does that image come to mind?)
Don’t answer that! (I have no idea as to where or who or which part of me said it but one part of me decides to listen and that is where this particular conversation ends)
I want sadza. (Is that even a thought or it is a new conversation?)
Sadza and what? You have hate meat so why bother? (yes, it is a new conversation.)
Yes, I had sadza yesterday and eating it again is like…. aaargh! and I am talking to myself again! (Who is talking now? Me. But which me is it?)
Can I ju….Hello? Hi. (I interrupt myself to start a proper conversation on the phone. At least this one is with people who answer back. Wait a minute…I answer myselves back. #sulk)
They are boring. He is boring!! Just hang up. (must be the trouble maker, the one who is ill-disciplined. Needs a thorough bottom-whipping to instill the fear of mother in her. I wonder how my grandmother and father missed out on instilling discipline in this one. She must have surfaced later on in my life. Kinda like how a little worm/ maggot surfaces in sadza just as you are about to dish it into dad’s plate. Do you get relieved because it surfaced at just that moment rather than later? Or you get annoyed that now you can’t eat because you know what was in the sadza?)
No, that would be rude. Just excuse yourself and hangu up. (Evidently, this one is just a talker and did not see the worm/ maggot.)
Same difference! She will just have to hang up at the end of it. (This one is as stubborn as skin pigmentation…no matter how light skinned these cheap, under-the-handbags creams can get you, all your blackness aka brownness will insist on settling on your knuckles! To proudly help you knock on any doors of opportunity, loudly declaring to you that you are a dark skinned woman running away from yourself like police officers at the kirawa yamadzibaba. ROFLMAO. Ok, not really, I am walking around somewhere and laughing my tail off. Imagine how all that pigmentation is running away- it can be Usain Bolt-ing, or it can be Haile Gebrselassie-ing, but run to the knuckles, it does.
Yes. I am still here. I was just lowering the volume. What I would give to silence these really loud MEs inside of me! (I will not even bother to ask who has taken over but my phone conversation is now so different with all theMEs just jabbering on inside me.)
It is lots of fun to talk to myself (hey, we are quite a few of you in here) #giggle
I come from a society that believes in punishment rather than rehabilitation, a society that believes in reactionary methods of dealing with challenges rather than trying to prevent them, a society that is more in denial than accepts reality, and in so doing, would learn how to deal with them. And that is just the shame of it. Child marriage is sadly a scourge and the fight to end it has got to be very deep and, like a boil, it must be painfully ‘squeezed out from the root’. In a society where women are commodities to be owned, girls tend to be the ‘highest prized” of these commodities meant to help “turn around” the economic woes of families. Families sell their girl children, be it to be (cheap) labour or into marriage- to men who violate these young innocents’ childhood. The Customary Marriages Act which looks at all customary marriages in the country does not even have an age limit as to what age people can get married, so a lot of young girls are married off under “customary marriages” and the law cannot do anything to punish those who abuse young girls in such scenarios.
It is fair and fine to look at marriage within the customary settings but I want to particularly look at child marriages in the modern set up where school going girls are impregnated by one person or the other and are forced out of school and sent packing into marriages they did not want or even think about. Child marriage, also known as early marriage, can be defined as “Any marriage carried out below the age of 18 years, before the girl is physically, physiologically, and psychologically ready to shoulder the responsibilities of marriage and childbearing.” I have followed a lot of debates on how “fast” or kuda zvinhu our young girls have become. I get it that we are a prude and uptight society that frowns upon sexual intercourse by women. I get it BUT…how then do we help these young in-school girls, at the peak of raging hormones and are that age where experimenting and exploration is rivalled by that of babies? Young people are having sex and my society had better accept this fact and deal with it. I am one of those who applauds the minister who wants condoms in schools as well as applaud those teens at the recent nude party who were found in possession of condoms. That means that these kids are better prepared to engage in safer sex than be at the risk of such dangers as teenage pregnancy, which I view to be one of the number one reasons for child marriage.
I want to pose a series of questions:
If a baby loves the flickering of flames, do we leave that baby to play with it or we remove it from harm’s way? Do we punish a baby for their being attracted to flames? How come we child-proof homes why can we not ‘adult-proof’ our teens? Sex and pregnancy is meant for adults yet we do not talk to our teens about it but somehow expect them to just not indulge. We have a society that believes that whole grown men, heads of homes and even leaders in various circles, are incapable of controlling their sexual urges, how then do we expect these young people to be able to do what adults fail and are expected to fail to do? And when these kids fail and fall pregnant we punish them by sending them into an institution that accounts for more abuses of women than any. We send them to start a rite of passage that only a mature, informed and consenting adult should be willingly entering. I am particularly looking at those child marriages which take place because a school going girl has come home late or she has fallen pregnant and must “go kwaakapihwa nhumbu yake” (she must go to whoever made her pregnant)
People can get emotional all they want but a child who, despite acting all grown up and doing grown up business, has no business being thrust into a space that she is most likely to be abused repeatedly. This young girl-woman needs to be in school where an education can help her secure a better future for her. She needs the support of her family during this bewildering period in her life and not left in the hands of a man who most probably does not want anything to do with her or the baby she is now carrying. Sending her into marriage at such an early age and given the likely scenario she will face, IS punishing her, and punishing her terribly, if I may be so candid. Marriage should be a joy and not something that is founded on “mistakes”, fear and constant reminders that one is being punished and is unwanted.
Given that sex has taken place between a child-woman and (usually) an adult, why does my society see it fit that a few dollars, cows and some clothes and groceries are given in exchange for the entire future of this child? How much is a woman’s future worth anyway? Seems it carries a small price tag whichever way we look at it. Let us all remember that before we condemn this “wayward” child, for she still is a child, she is at the mercy of her hormones and we need to guide her through this difficult time of her life. I would dare challenge parents to take up the parenting mantle and equip their young girls with all the information they would need to get through this period in a manner that will allow them to avoid the pitfalls of teenage pregnancy and teenage sex. Marrying her off is not a solution and should not even be contemplated. Let us talk WITH our children about sexual intercourse so that they are better informed and ready to face or avoid it.
I found myself seated in “the Commune” with a few of my friends as I was happily typing away at some document or the other. I was catching snippets of the conversation here and there and had on my headphones as a gentle ‘Do not disturb” sign which was occasionally ignored. Not that I really minded because, in typical me style, I was not playing anything but it was exactly what I called it… a SIGN. LOL I wanted to get some work done but I did not want to be totally left out of the conversations that tend to be stimulating and often diverting (hence my “Do not disturb” sign.) But, you all know that this is a recipe for disaster…between the riotous bunch (I wonder how we even get any work done but we often do not get much done when we get all silent, anyway…so somehow it does work.)
So once in a while, there I was, getting asked stuff and responding to what I heard or choosing to ignore stuff I knew would side track me….they thought that I was playing music anyway, so I did not feel guilty. LOL. However, it soon happened that a conversation was started that I should have paid more attention to but I did not. At some point, a question was directed my way and I caught the last bit of it which was “…how to get away with murder?” and true to someone who has missed a good part of the conversation and is suffering from guilt pangs, I rushed in and gave my response which kinda went like this:
“If you want to get away with murder, rule number one is “Never confess to it.” Have no witnesses and get away from the murder scene. Take the body away from the scene of the crime and place it somewhere so far away and away from your usual route. Do not even call the cops as if you are just a passerby who happened to find the body and when you get drunk, make sure that you lock yourself in a room by yourself and disable all your internet connections and give your friends your phones and keys. We do not want to risk you drunk-confessing…”and I went on! LOL
It wasn’t until one of the ladies said,” You surely know how to get away with murder that I knew that something was up. You know that feeling you get when you have over-shared? Or even when you realise that you have just said something off? Yes, I got that feeling from the tone of her voice. I immediately asked, “Umm, did you not want to know how to get away with murder?” To which everyone laughed again..they had laughed after I had finished my perfect explanation. “Well, I was asking if you watch the series, How to get away with murder?” Oh Lord, now THAT was hilarious! No ways was I gonna make some excuse about the ‘music’ or some such, I just burst out laughing. The more they all expressed how perfectly I could get away with murder, the more I laughed out
Oh well, I just had to share this seemingly embarrassing moment that I had today. Care to share yours?
So a joke was shared in one of these group in which I find myself and it went something like this:
“Your boyfriend shows up at your place and you are down to your last dollar which you were going to use to buy relish to cook sadza with. You then opt to buy him a soft drink and some biscuits and you then pour some water into a bottle of sprite and drink this. Halfway down his bottle, he asks that you swop because he loves Sprite. What do you do?” I will not share some of the answers that were shared in that group but it’s suffice to say that they resulted in me taking this issue to a broader audience: my blog.
This may be funny, or even the responses but I see a lot of sadness. I see a lot of pretense that a lot of women are engaging in and it just breaks my heart. I heard of how young women would be willing to deceive the guy just so he does not realise that she is facing hard times. Some of the responses were so violent that had it not been social media and had been a social event, I am almost sure that a physical fight or at least a screaming match of some sort would have erupted. It is sad. I mean, why go to all the lengths to hide from boyfriend that things are not well? What is the matter if he was to eat sadza with just vegetables on the day? Why not even ask him to help you sort out supper? I mean, I would ask that of my dude if he came and I was in that situation. I mean, we would (and do) have an honest relationship that has that kind of honesty, maybe that is why I make that declaration.
If a woman/ girl goes out her way to hide this and put up such a front, I wonder what else she is hiding. Anyway, the discussion soon turned to issues that touch my heart…women and their self-identity. It got me thinking just how women are under pressure to present this “ideal woman” whom none of us actually knows what she is like or how she even looks like. No wonder people be bleaching their skins rotten, because to them, the ideal woman is a “yellow bone”. No wonder some women are battling bulimia and anorexia because they want to look “sexy”…I am not yet convinced that “sexy” is a dress size. No wonder some are insecure and go snooping into phones trying to find out just who their man is chatting with. No wonder some women, scratch that, no wonder I, ME, used to ask my then boyfriend WHY he was with me! Sad. The truth is that I (and many other women) did not think that we were (are) good enough for this man who I was with (some still think that they are not good enough.) I know one too many women who are trying so hard to be superwoman…being super mom, super wife, super daughter in law, super employee…and I wonder ho wit is all supposed to balance out…Seems every other woman I know is or has battled trying to aim to be this woman, this paragon of virtue, the virtuous woman aka the Proverbs 31 woman. Lord help us, she has to be the innocent, the virgin yet also be the sex goddess whose sexual prowess puts a sex worker to shame…how she is supposed to be able to be this, I have no idea…but the pressure is still there.
I really think that my mind is insane to question the demons that hound my fellows but it does. I am not even apologetic because I finally discovered what and who this ideal woman is…move over Angelina and your full lips, move over all you Indian women with your long and silky hair, move over your Swedes with your unending limbs….models, move the bloody hell over with your size zero bodies..I have finally found her.
The ideal woman is the one staring back in the mirror when I look into it. She is that woman who stares back in the mirror when the next lady steps in front of the mirror, too. Yes, the ideal woman is YOU! Your personality is what is ideal. Your body, your race, your hair, your attitude to life is what raises this woman to shine gloriously when you do YOU!
I take my bra off (and it is not a big size, mind you. lol) to every ideal woman staring back in the mirror.
Having read what Doctor Alex Magaisa (he is a bona fide academic this one, I must add… ) wrote on his Facebook wall about the two types of political violence found in this country, I find myself wondering what is happening to all those who have been linked to political violence around the country. I was a part of the cast of the play, Rituals, that toured the country in 2010 and came face to face with a fraction of the deep impact that political violence had on the nation. In many places, the leaders of the perpetrators of violence lived among the communities and were well known to everyone and they roamed freely. I came across names whose mention brings shivers up and down my spine when I recall the atrocious deeds to which they are linked. At times, I find it hard to close my eyes because images of people near tears, retelling us their stories flash before my eyes. Often times, I hear the emotions choked up in voices of survivors of this violence. Whenever I see an abandoned homestead as I travel around this nation, half the time I think that this was probably the home of a family that was forced to leave because they were deemed traitors and thus had to flee for their lives. These are not easy moments because I am but just someone in whom they confided their painful stories because of the play that I found myself being a cast member.
It is such an overwhelming project that was supported by many but was also persecuted by others. I recall that we slept in cells twice and became history makers simply because someone deemed the play ploitical and viewed it as having taken a swipe at certain people and political parties despite not one mention of any political party thru the entire play. But, in Shona there is a saying that goes “Anyumwa bere nderake” (which loosely translated means He that is guilty is quick to assume that he is being accused of a crime..something like that)
Anyway, I am now wondering about all those characters who led violence against their neighbours…who raped and impregnated young women in the name of politics…those who petrol bombed homes of their neighbours…who led young men and women in bases of torture…What is going to happen to them? Will they also face the same fate as Jim Kunaka? Whilst Jim was reportedly abducted, he was once feared so won’t this unleash a wave of violence against those who were once feared as instigators of political violence because “Jim has been made an example”? I am seriously worried…what has become of our nation?
We need peace and not this demonstrations and vile talk that is going on because at the end of the day, no one is actually going to harm any of these big chefs but their perceived supporters…it is only you and I who will come off worse if we allow this to continue. It has got to come to a stop and I do not see any of our leaders doing ANYTHING to bring an end to this. If they would do anything, the violence of 2008 would have seen people brought to book for it…but another election later and beyond it, it takes “factionalism” to begin to bring “punishment”??? Really!! Zimbabweans, we need to realise that in all this, our leadership is so caught up in staying in power that they are willing to sacrifice us in their fights! None of them will sacrifice themselves That is the plain truth.If it wasn’t, the very government of today would be some respectable someones working away at farms somewhere and not still walking the corridors of power and turning everything that is state into party and personal entities.