Tag Archive | choices

Of Today’s Christians: Is it transformation by Renewal or Removal of minds?

I recently came across a clip of a miracle performed by one ‘man of God’, Emmanuel Makandiwa, and the discussion around it had me check out the video and I came up with several questions of my own. I hope you can help me answer them.

So, this woman has “weight” taken off her stomach area yet the one around her arms was left intact? It is still visible as she is waving away, presumably going back to her seat. Wait a minute, what about that “weight” above her waistline, the one ABOVE the “tight” middle part of her dress- why was that left there? Why does the dress remains tight around her bosom? In addition, her neck still has that “ring”? I am really questioning this “miracle” here, I am and I need clarity. Jesus told several people to go and get checked by others who had knowledge of verifying the new state of those who had received His miracles- “Go and show yourself to the priest” He told some guy in the Bible:

“And Jesus saith unto him, See thou tell no man; but go thy way, shew thyself to the priest, and offer the gift that Moses commanded, for a testimony unto them”

Ini hangu, I am one person who wants to understand this “new state” of this woman. Am I the only one?

My other question is this:

Why, beyond this church, do we not hear of the people who have received these miracles? It seems it just ends with them and their papa and fellow sons and daughters of the prophets.

In Jesus’ time, He forbade people to talk about Him and what He had just done but the people went out telling all and sundry. Remember the two blind men? Who forbade today’s recipients of ‘Jesus’ goodness’ to go out and tell the world of their miracles? How come the local broadcaster, terrible and starved of great content as it is, is not flooded by these ‘miracle’ recipients and their families, friends and even neighbours etc to verify and testify to these miracles?

“Mat 9:30-31: And their eyes were opened; and Jesus straitly charged them, saying, See that no man know it. But they, when they were departed, spread abroad his fame in all that country.”

Interesting that these people also then become “sons and daughters of papa” yet, when some of the people who opted to follow Jesus, they then effectively left the then “church.” Yes, why are we now in an era of crowds seeking “papa”s and “mama”s and not seeking after Jesus?

Reading my Bible, I noticed that even deacons within the church performed miracles, signs and wonders. Look at Stephen, he healed, cast out demons, flew Air HolyGhost, preaching JESUS throughout many cities. How come it seems signs and wonders are only by the “men and women of God” and the believers do nothing but cry out “Hee papa, hee mama, hee man of God, Amen” etc? Where is the power of the church? Where is the move of the Holy Spirit in these churches? Why are these men and women of God and not by the lay people only doing the “greater things than these”? How come it is the ‘power’ of these prophets and prophetesses that people are spreading and not the power of God? Peter raised Dorcas from the DEAD, yes, from the dead and yet we do not hear of Peter’s power but that people believed in God because of these miracles! I recall Paul and Barnabus renting their clothes after people identified them to be gods! Yes, these two men had just healed a lame man and the city went ballistic in celebration but the two put a stop to the insanity of the idea that they would be likened to gods!  How come we do not hear the anger of today’s prophets in refuting the idea/reality of being given such high “honour” of even having people cursing anyone who dares question them? Interesting that these so-called believers rush to quote the scripture, “Touch not my anointed” yet Paul was stoned and left for dead for refusing to be honoured ‘as a god’ instead of Christ receiving that honour. It is all part of the hazards of the territory, me  says. Vachiri kungobvunzwa chete? Ah, havasati, vachatosvika pakuponderwa Jesu uyu, me says!

I want to quote one of my favourite pastors who quotes the Bible in a way I want to share with everyone else:

PC aka Pastor Craig Ndoro says: “The Bible says, ‘Be ye transformed by the RENEWAL of your minds’ and not by the REMOVAL of your minds.” I must agree with him, many of today’s believers have removed minds, simple- hakuna kufunga! There, I said it.

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Of today’s “fast” young girls: #BIAAGZIM

I come from a society that believes in punishment rather than rehabilitation, a society that believes in reactionary methods of dealing with challenges rather than trying to prevent them, a society that is more in denial than accepts reality, and in so doing, would learn how to deal with them. And that is just the shame of it. Child marriage is sadly a scourge and the fight to end it has got to be very deep and, like a boil, it must be painfully ‘squeezed out from the root’. In a society where women are commodities to be owned, girls tend to be the ‘highest prized” of these commodities meant to help “turn around” the economic woes of families. Families sell their girl children, be it to be (cheap) labour or into marriage- to men who violate these young innocents’ childhood.  The Customary Marriages Act which looks at all customary marriages in the country does not even have an age limit as to what age people can get married, so a lot of young girls are married off under “customary marriages” and the law cannot do anything to punish those who abuse young girls in such scenarios.

It is fair and fine to look at marriage within the customary settings but I want to particularly look at child marriages in the modern set up where school going girls are impregnated by one person or the other and are forced out of school and sent packing into marriages they did not want or even think about. Child marriage, also known as early marriage, can be defined as “Any marriage carried out below the age of 18 years, before the girl is physically, physiologically, and psychologically ready to shoulder the responsibilities of marriage and childbearing.” I have followed a lot of debates on how “fast” or kuda zvinhu our young girls have become. I get it that we are a prude and uptight society that frowns upon sexual intercourse by women. I get it BUT…how then do we help these young in-school girls, at the peak of raging hormones and are that age where experimenting and exploration is rivalled by that of babies? Young people are having sex and my society had better accept this fact and deal with it. I am one of those who applauds the minister who wants condoms in schools as well as applaud those teens at the recent nude party who were  found in possession of condoms. That means that these kids are better prepared to engage in safer sex than be at the risk of such dangers as teenage pregnancy, which I view to be one of the number one reasons for child marriage.

I want to pose a series of questions:

If a baby loves the flickering of flames, do we leave that baby to play with it or we remove it from harm’s way? Do we punish a baby for their being attracted to flames? How come we child-proof homes why can we not ‘adult-proof’ our teens? Sex and pregnancy is meant for adults yet we do not talk to our teens about it but somehow expect them to just not indulge. We have a society that believes that whole grown men, heads of homes and even leaders in various circles, are incapable of controlling their sexual urges, how then do we expect these young people to be able to do what adults fail and are expected to fail to do? And when these kids fail and fall pregnant we punish them by sending them into an institution that accounts for more abuses of women than any. We send them to start a rite of passage that only a mature, informed and consenting adult should be willingly entering. I am particularly looking at those child marriages which take place because a school going girl has come home late or she has fallen pregnant and must “go kwaakapihwa nhumbu yake” (she must go to whoever made her pregnant)

People can get emotional all they want but a child who, despite acting all grown up and doing grown up business, has no business being thrust into a space that she is most likely to be abused repeatedly. This young girl-woman needs to be in school where an education can help her secure a better future for her. She needs the support of her family during this bewildering period in her life and not left in the hands of a man who most probably does not want anything to do with her or the baby she is now carrying. Sending her into marriage at such an early age and given the likely scenario she will face, IS punishing her, and punishing her terribly, if I may be so candid. Marriage should be a joy and not something that is founded on “mistakes”, fear and constant reminders that one is being punished and is unwanted.

Given that sex has taken place between a child-woman and (usually) an adult, why does my society see it fit that a few dollars, cows and some clothes and groceries are given in exchange for the entire future of this child? How much is a woman’s future worth anyway? Seems it carries a small price tag whichever way we look at it. Let us all remember that before we condemn this “wayward” child, for she still is a child, she is at the mercy of her hormones and we need to guide her through this difficult time of her life. I would dare challenge parents to take up the parenting mantle and equip their young girls with all the information they would need to get through this period in a manner that will allow them to avoid the pitfalls of teenage pregnancy and teenage sex. Marrying her off is not a solution and should not even be contemplated. Let us talk WITH our children about sexual intercourse so that they are better informed and ready to face or avoid it.

#BIAAGZIM

Of Advice: Is this REALLY what we tell each other?

In a society where we face problems and tricky situations, advice columns have become a popular way to seek help. The power of tetes (aunts) is dwindling and fast dying out. I recently came across a link to a story that disturbed me so much. I initially ignored it until I decided to read the story and to say that I was horrified, is an understatement. I was not horrified AT the advice given, no, somehow that is ”the normal” kind of advice you hear being shared among women…at least ‘publicly’   anyway. I was horrified by WHO gave the advice! I mean, we live in a society in which any wrong that could go wrong can pretty much be explained away to be the responsibility of the woman. Let me use the issue I address in the video…adultery, or should I say the more appropriate name? CHEATING/ INFIDELITY. A quick look at the comments posted by readers on this article prove my point:

(from zimdaily) Mai Chisamba who runs an Agony Aunt column in a national newspaper

(from zimdaily)
Mai Chisamba who runs an Agony Aunt column in a national newspaper

the husband probably saw Sisi doing a good job of looking after him…

Jacob in response to Mother Teresa …Make it a rule that the maid does not enter the main bedroom , the wife shud make sure it’s cleaned by her and not the maid . When u leave for work lock it . Make sure u prepare food for ur husband and u bring it to him . Underwear shud not be washed by the maid…

paonei….Please ladies serve your husbands whenever possible…

….Do not antagonize your husband but continue loving him you will see what happens

….. Am a man and out of the thousands of men that I know, 99% have at one point cheated but their marriges are still intact and happy although they have not been caught by their wives. Men cant just stop cheating but they dont have to be caught mai Chisamba probably knows this and in most cases there is no justifiable reason for the cheating

This is a sad and pathetic situation where we do not want to uphold men to the same standards to which women are held. How do we create really happy homes where both parties are responsible for the functioning of a union? A situation where both men and women are held accountable for their actions and are held liable for deviating from an agreed upon path.

someone listen to this man...this is the truth (image from quotessays.com)

someone listen to this man…this is the truth
(image from quotessays.com)

My bone of contention lies with advice dishers who turn a blind eye at the obvious wrong committed by a party. In this case, Mai Chisamba does not acknowledge that this husband CHOSE to have sex with the maid. I mean, it was not like he suddenly had a d&*ck stand and the maid was naked, legs wide open on the floor or bed or wherever it was, and the dude slipped and immediately ejaculated into this ‘adulterous’ woman. No!! The husband chose to deceive his wife, lie that he was “going to have drinks with friends” meanwhile he would drive a little distance and do a double back and sneak into the cottage of this woman and have “the drinks of lust” with her. I want to question the state of mind of this man just so we help each other see the levels of deception this man went to in order to have fun with another woman.

(from quotes-lover.com) and most men cheat because they know that they will not be held accountable

(from quotes-lover.com)
and most men cheat because they know that they will not be held accountable

1. It takes planning to think up an activity that the wife would accept…enter drinks with friends

2. It takes planning to drive out of the house, get into the car and drive off a little distance, park the car and walk back to his house BUT use a side entrance into the house help’s cottage

3. It takes numbing one’s mind to carry a raging (or even a weak) erection for another woman whilst in the yard of one’s house. (I do not know if he had raging ones or he had weak ones, but both are possibilities)

4. It takes numbing of one’s mind to have sex (I’m imagining this other woman faking the pleasure by making sexual moans and groans to massage the man’s ego…before you shoot me down, it has been proven that most women exaggerate the moans in order to massage the man’s ego. Thanks to porn movies for raising the “pleasure” bar for us. LOL)

(from facebook.com) she gonn abe screaming and moaning all this and he forgets that he has a wife just a few meters away? Oh pu-liz!

(from facebook.com)
she gonn abe screaming and moaning all this and he forgets that he has a wife just a few meters away? Oh pu-liz!

5. Before we even get t the moans and the calling out of this man’s totem in “pleasure” (imagine that she is panting ‘iii, Chirandu kani, maihwee Moyo…) someone tell me that at NO POINT did this guy even THINK of his wife as he entered the cottage, as he checked quickly to make sure that his wife had not somehow visited the maid as soon as he had driven off, as he saw his fellow partaker of the forbidden pleasures, as he undressed her, as she ‘screamed’ out his name in ‘pleasure’ and as he probably covered her mouth with his hand to cut off the sounds, they could even have played music or something to muffle the sounds…who knows..they could also have done it in total silence, maybe ZESA was not there on several occasions…who knows…in all this

(from .newgrounds.com) this man had to sneak back into the cottage, right?

(from .newgrounds.com)
this man had to sneak back into the cottage, right?

Someone tell me that his lust was so much that he could not think and became a zombie..but how did he walk out of the house (probably hiding his erection from the wife) and drive and then…end up home again claiming that the guys were well? (If at all the wife asked him?) Tell me that this man was just so blinded by this seductive siren, who happens to be a maid, that he could not even think of his wife? Ah no ways, this woman (the Mrs) ought to deal with the real issue here, her husband. If she takes this other woman to court, as advised, to sue for adultery..what if, upon getting to court, this Mrs discovers that her husband had actually married this other woman? Anything can happen with this kind of deceptive man. If this woman, is already suicidal because she discovered the pregnancy, what will she be IF it tuns out that the woman she thought was her maid in in fact, her co-wife? hmmm!

I do not think that this woman should have been advised to deal with the next woman. Evidently,her own husband (as personal as it can get there…) decided to ignore whatever vows he made to his wife, before God and men when he indulged in this affair. He is not a helpless child at all in this matter. This woman needs to address the issue, with her husband. The problem is with him. All along, she wrote, she “had been happily married” so she was living in some bliss that was probably cloaked in denial. The signs were there and she chose to ignore them. That is a sad reality. What does a marriage retreat help in this case? There is a baby on the way and its mother is a woman this wife does not consider worthy of opening her legs to her husband…a maid..she keeps calling her. I find that this is something that this Mrs will not get over easily, so, best thing, she should not be made to feel bad should she consider leaving. This could be an issue that she might keep bringing up in future arguments..damaging any ‘progress’ they might have made as a couple. Let us be real and admit that being cheated on is damaging to one’s ego and self esteem. It is even made worse when the woman/ person who was a part of it is someone we deem to be ‘beneath us’

The advise given rests on too many assumptions: that this Mrs will want to stay with this man. 2. that the husband wants to go to court and try and prove paternity to a child he probably knows is his. 3. it is assumed that this Mrs is in a rational state of mind to even contemplate that she is being selfish…maybe it is time that someone advised her to be selfish…she could have been so selfless all along and maybe , just maybe, she needs to think about herself. Oh well, if we are going to quote the Bible, can we at least use it to help someone get to a better space and not use it to confine them in an unfair situation and position? This is one of the reasons why people then say that religion is used to oppress women.

I’m just saying….

who knows gif

“Confronting my demons”: In progress

Glad to be writing again. The fear of trying to write well has finally been cast from me. Started writing this one a little while ago but left it when I felt that I was speaking too much in the story. For ages now the story of this young woman has been lying in the back of my mind and I have been too afraid to write it. I have been so scared of judging her, of having people judge her! I wanted hers to be a perfect story but who has that? This is life and the best way to live it is to get on with it. Same thing with with writing. She is a mixture and an offshoot of several people whom I know or have encountered, some of them men and that is what makes me embrace her. She is her! It is as if she is telling me to allow her to live, to be and so I have finally begun to do just that.

“I have written and re-written her story enough times trying to change her yet she is still there, wanting to live. So, in honour of her determination and her life, here goes a snippet from her story, tentatively entitled:

“Confronting my demons” (all copyrights reserved).

I sit in my small room and wonder why nothing is going right. I have gone to school and have acquired the necessary education but I feel more schooled than educated because I honestly have no idea how to navigate this treacherous jungle called life. No one taught me how life ought to be lived and I am extremely frustrated, disillusioned and downright angry. I have spent more than half my life thus far in some form of educational facility but there is nothing to show for my pains and efforts. I say pain because it WAS painful sitting through class and forcing my mind to take in all that the various teachers were spewing out of their mouths and scribbling across blackboards as well as dictating through whatever classes I had to attend. It was pain aiming to get the highest grades just so I could make my father proud…ok, I knew, just as I know now, that nothing I can do will ever make him prouder than were I male. So, my sex was the next frustration nature bestowed on me after it gave me to the parents that I had. I must say that I am glad that my mother is no more. She finally got some rest from- no, this is not about my mother but about me.

…….

It was in my second month of pregnancy that Lightman came back from work one day, in unusually high spirits…well, the spirits in him were partly responsible. He kissed me and massaged my feet. I ought to have been alerted by that very act itself: what black Shona man massages the feet of his pregnant girlfriend without there being a catch? He ran me a bath and scrubbed my back and he went on to make me tea, chamomile tea, to be exact. It was “to help you relax, my sweet.” I had never heard of that tea before but who was I to reveal that? I happily drank my cup and allowed myself to be caressed, licked and sucked in all manner thinkable and soon enough…oh well, you know it.

I woke up retching so suddenly and spent the next few minutes seated on the toilet floor with Mr Man offering me mint tea, “to help with the nausea.” I should have been more alert, I repeat, I ought to have been more alert. He was not worried about my ‘illness’ but more about getting me to drink as much tea as possible. After throwing up what must have been the day before yesterday’s breakfast, I finally passed out. I woke up with heat around my lower back. It steadily became intense but my partner was there to give me hot compress with a towel. I realised that I was in trouble when I felt the stickiness on my bum. A quick hand behind me and it came back red! I was confused before I became alarmed but my babie was on hand to ease my worries.

…..
(Let us leave it here for now)