Tag Archive | Display window

Of Bans after licensing and Carnival invites (Not for the prudes)

So it has seemed that Bev Sibanda’s semi-nude pictures have caused quite the sensation on the net. All sorts of moral judgement and “righteous anger” is being directed at this lovely woman who is being branded “Magaya’s problem child” and is purported to be possessed by ”seven-fold demon” and needs “to return to the PHD Ministries church.” ayaas! All good and dandy and I am sure someone is expecting God to pat them on their back and say, “Well done” Sadly, that is not gonna happen.

 

on our streets? and Bev is the eissue?

on our streets? and Bev is the eissue?

 

What is left to the imagination? and Bev who danced at a private party, indoors  for a No.U21 audience is an issue? Grow up, Zimbos

What is left to the imagination? and Bev who danced at a private party, indoors for a No.U21 audience is an issue? Grow up, Zimbos

First and foremost, Bev is a pole dancer…if we cannot call her a bottle dancer …and there is NOTHING “decent” about either of the two. That is also why she ‘dances’ in bars and nightclubs were children and unwilling partakers of this kind of entertainment are not found. herein is my first issue with the organisers of the carnival: How DARE they display for all and sundry to see, view and oogle at the “sacred nature” that men have been enjoying in the privacy of the bars? Bev was to remain a nightclub bottle dancer who was to never be found doing her thang out in public! Now I am even contemplating giving her some wide competition by aiming to sit upon a wider necked bottle than she currently does!! Dafuq! None of this was to have happened had they kept her routine and her wiggly behind out of public eye.

 

Now I wanna fly to Ivory Coast and other African and Afro-Carribean countries and learn me some bobarabakuitata (this gets a tad bit explicit, do not foolow this link if you are averse to some Bev display of the female lower bit of the anatomy) tchoumakaya and some Mapouka but then again there is the Rhumba which we all dance to seriously! And whilst we are on the subject of Rhumba, did you all know that this dance has roots in an Afro-Carribean dance whose name “secousse”  means “to shake”? There is also the gouye which is basically fast forward “sele”, the El Mapale from the Afro-Carribea (although these guys could be mistaken to be Zimbabwean, they shake a bit faster at some point, if you are Shona you will identify which dances are familiar here.) Now that we have seen just how PERVETED African dances really are, do we still want to call out the culture card? The Dinhe tutorial here is quite ‘perverted” if I may say so, myself.. what is all that boob and pelvic action?

 

As for the Jerusarema dance, there really was great reason for the prude missionaries to ban that scandalous dance. How DARE people mimic sexual intercourse and call it a dance? Dafuq! Anyone still scrambling to call for us to return to our culture? Of all our dances, maybe the Ngororombe would be the only safe and clean cultural one- no wiggling of bums and the females seem to be blushing virgins as they dance it. LMAO Back to this carnival and these semi-nude images of our bottle-shoving cum bottling f&*ing sensation. So, a whole minister of Tourism and the organising committee decided to include Bev to the line-up, marketing her as some of our cultural heritage. All great and yummy with some marshmallow. Did they honestly expect her to preach and prophesy at this cuntival…oops, I mean carnival? Yeah, we all know that she had been to the much hyped about church but we also know that Bev had returned to the bottle, so to speak. This was no secret so I am seriously wondering WHY and HOW people will only be raising a stink AFTER the cuntival. It was well advertised that Bev would be a part of the line up, so why did no one raise their voice and scream bloody murder as soon as the first advert ran on the national broadcaster? Interestingly, if Bev was said to be semi-nude then what would we say of the Brazilians? They were near nude! Take a look at these and then compare with our Bev,damn, she is made an angel. Image

 

She even rocked up fully dressed for the carnival daylight parade and she even stopped dancing when people would mob her! (and I just had to forget where I spotted pics of her in some metallic silver catsuit of some sorts. Damn! ) Now, from WHERE  is the hatred coming? I even hear that they want to revoke her licence? What kin of confusion is that? We just had her raking in cash for the nation (through shaking her Zimassets now they want to ban her? This is confusion in the highest order. Let her dance so long as she dances in designated and welcoming areas. Her popularity is beyond a shadow of doubt, thankfully no one is yet thinking of having her go to BBA. *yikes! Perish that thought.)

 

I will leave you with these words from the man himself, minister of Tourism:

 

“Carnivals have a poetic licence or special dispensation to do things in a way that may be ordinarily viewed as irregular….If we are going to succeed with future carnival editions in Zimbabwe, we have to develop a higher degree of tolerance for other people’s cultures, otherwise the international endorsement that we seek from other countries for our events and destination will elude us….Every year, we watch the Rio Carnival on our TVs and not on a single day have our critics come out. (Evidently, these have not been shown on national broadcaster, or have they?)…Does wearing a pair of trousers, mini skirt and other skimpy outfits by our beautiful women constitute Zimbabwean culture? Nhembe, migwada, mhapa and shashiko certainly do…Let us not arrogate to ourselves the higher moral ground, which we actually don’t occupy or pontificate on issues we actually don’t comprehend. (Ihemeni minister iroro…sorry, can’t translate)…(he went on to point out what counted, for him) – the pursuit of happiness and enhancing the well being of our people away from their recurrent challenges of unemployment, cash shortages and deprivation. (I just have no idea how happy e can be given all that we face, as he rightly puts it…but then again, tourism is about happiness, I guess he is following the mandate of his portfolio, so sue him! Ah!) The article is available here.

 

More pictures for your viewing (dis)pleasure:

 

 

 

 

Please note that this was at night!!

Please note that this was at night!!

Is this not what we see at shows? (I am yet to attend any where women dressed as above are seen)

Is this not what we see at shows? (I am yet to attend any where women dressed as above are seen)

 

 

need I say more, this is not for the prude

need I say more, this is not for the prude…if THIS pic made it to the net, what really transpired at that lounge, that night?

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No ordinary shopping

I have these really interesting conversations with members of the opposite sex. And by interesting I do not necessarily mean appealing, maybe in this case I would term it thought-provoking, for want of a better word. I will take a roundabout way to get to one particular conversation (although I must admit that I have had it with several of my male friends and this time it proved one too many times.)

Picture this: as you are strolling down a street in some shopping area, you spot something beautiful in some shop window and you know that you want this item for yourself. At this point, you do not think about the price so you walk into this shop and ask the shop assistant for you to only to be told that there is none left on the shop floor, just the displayed one. Just out of curiosity, do you ask what the price tag is? Do you walk back to the window to admire it again and torture yourself with the idea of how your life would have been positively transformed by this beauty? Do you walk out and look for the next beautiful thing you come across that you can purchase? Or, do you ask the shop floor assistant to go and check if this item is hidden away somewhere in the storeroom or maybe to call the warehouse, just in case? I will tell you right now that most of you would have walked out on being told that the item is only on display with none currently available for sell. Some of you would have simply not even gone into the shop to enquire whilst others would not dare ask for the price. Disappointingly predictable, right? I know, that is what people do.

The imagery of the item of beauty in the display window is exactly what came to mind as I was conversing with these two friends of mine, albeit on two separate occasions. Is it not that we expect to find on the shop floor an item that is displayed on the window? Is it not that when we do not expect to be told that the desired and displayed item is out of stock we walk out in search of something else? Is it not true that when we really desire to have this item we nag the assistant to double check if there is one more lying in a dark corner in the storeroom or even one that could have been left in the warehouse? Is it not that when we are told that the item is out of stock we might venture asking what the value is? To my Zimbabwean counterparts who have dealt with our Indian businesspeople, is it not true that when you nag them enough they might just find you your desired item in the storeroom (although they would tell you that the item is dirty and in need of dusting and polishing- not that the item in the display is itself as shiny as it ought to be.)

Now, if one were to have spotted this item of beauty in the shop window and had walked in to find it, wouldn’t the item be bought – assuming that they can afford it- then we wouldn’t be having this conversation, right? Oh, and also assuming that the shop people had then removed the last item from the display window.  But it doesn’t always work out like that does it? There will be that temptingly beautiful item on display and when you walk into the shop you will be told that it is out of stock and should you dare ask, you will be told so steep a price that many would not be able to afford. Very few would even bother to ask if they can have the display item (at whatever the cost) let alone ask if there is one hidden away somewhere in the storeroom or warehouse.

Now coming back to my conversations with my male friends: they both assumed that I had a boyfriend (which in itself is not an issue.) When I said I did not, they expressed disbelief. On asking them why they were surprised… this is where my issue lies… they both said something to the effect that a woman like me would have been taken a long time ago. A woman like me? That is the first question I would ask without even taking them to task about the ‘taken’ bit! Apparently, my looks warranted that some man had snatched me up some time back!! And the feminist in me just rose splendidly to occasion. (I smile when I look back at that moment.)  What? I was an item to be ‘got’ by the first guy to admire my looks? How shallow does that make me, an item in a shop waiting to be bought by the first shopper who can afford the tag that comes with me! Phruuumph!

Yet this is exactly what I am. I am that item of beauty that you will see displayed in the shop window yet is not available on the shop floor. Some of you will assume that being absent from the shop floor means that I have been purchased by the first customer who walked in with the required money after admiring and desiring me in the shop window. Well, I am not on the shop floor even though you will see me in the display window. I am lying somewhere in the storeroom accumulating dust waiting for that one shopper who understands his Indians so well that he knows that they do not just display some item of beauty in the shop window and not have it somewhere in the storeroom if it is not on the shop floor. This item of beauty is not to be ‘had’ by just anyone, just by that one shopper who really wants it and is willing to nag for it, purchase it at whatever the cost and go home and clean it up and enjoy its beauty. No ordinary shopping, indeed. And I smile at the images that come to mind.