Tag Archive | morality

Of Bans after licensing and Carnival invites (Not for the prudes)

So it has seemed that Bev Sibanda’s semi-nude pictures have caused quite the sensation on the net. All sorts of moral judgement and “righteous anger” is being directed at this lovely woman who is being branded “Magaya’s problem child” and is purported to be possessed by ”seven-fold demon” and needs “to return to the PHD Ministries church.” ayaas! All good and dandy and I am sure someone is expecting God to pat them on their back and say, “Well done” Sadly, that is not gonna happen.


on our streets? and Bev is the eissue?

on our streets? and Bev is the eissue?


What is left to the imagination? and Bev who danced at a private party, indoors  for a No.U21 audience is an issue? Grow up, Zimbos

What is left to the imagination? and Bev who danced at a private party, indoors for a No.U21 audience is an issue? Grow up, Zimbos

First and foremost, Bev is a pole dancer…if we cannot call her a bottle dancer …and there is NOTHING “decent” about either of the two. That is also why she ‘dances’ in bars and nightclubs were children and unwilling partakers of this kind of entertainment are not found. herein is my first issue with the organisers of the carnival: How DARE they display for all and sundry to see, view and oogle at the “sacred nature” that men have been enjoying in the privacy of the bars? Bev was to remain a nightclub bottle dancer who was to never be found doing her thang out in public! Now I am even contemplating giving her some wide competition by aiming to sit upon a wider necked bottle than she currently does!! Dafuq! None of this was to have happened had they kept her routine and her wiggly behind out of public eye.


Now I wanna fly to Ivory Coast and other African and Afro-Carribean countries and learn me some bobarabakuitata (this gets a tad bit explicit, do not foolow this link if you are averse to some Bev display of the female lower bit of the anatomy) tchoumakaya and some Mapouka but then again there is the Rhumba which we all dance to seriously! And whilst we are on the subject of Rhumba, did you all know that this dance has roots in an Afro-Carribean dance whose name “secousse”  means “to shake”? There is also the gouye which is basically fast forward “sele”, the El Mapale from the Afro-Carribea (although these guys could be mistaken to be Zimbabwean, they shake a bit faster at some point, if you are Shona you will identify which dances are familiar here.) Now that we have seen just how PERVETED African dances really are, do we still want to call out the culture card? The Dinhe tutorial here is quite ‘perverted” if I may say so, myself.. what is all that boob and pelvic action?


As for the Jerusarema dance, there really was great reason for the prude missionaries to ban that scandalous dance. How DARE people mimic sexual intercourse and call it a dance? Dafuq! Anyone still scrambling to call for us to return to our culture? Of all our dances, maybe the Ngororombe would be the only safe and clean cultural one- no wiggling of bums and the females seem to be blushing virgins as they dance it. LMAO Back to this carnival and these semi-nude images of our bottle-shoving cum bottling f&*ing sensation. So, a whole minister of Tourism and the organising committee decided to include Bev to the line-up, marketing her as some of our cultural heritage. All great and yummy with some marshmallow. Did they honestly expect her to preach and prophesy at this cuntival…oops, I mean carnival? Yeah, we all know that she had been to the much hyped about church but we also know that Bev had returned to the bottle, so to speak. This was no secret so I am seriously wondering WHY and HOW people will only be raising a stink AFTER the cuntival. It was well advertised that Bev would be a part of the line up, so why did no one raise their voice and scream bloody murder as soon as the first advert ran on the national broadcaster? Interestingly, if Bev was said to be semi-nude then what would we say of the Brazilians? They were near nude! Take a look at these and then compare with our Bev,damn, she is made an angel. Image


She even rocked up fully dressed for the carnival daylight parade and she even stopped dancing when people would mob her! (and I just had to forget where I spotted pics of her in some metallic silver catsuit of some sorts. Damn! ) Now, from WHERE  is the hatred coming? I even hear that they want to revoke her licence? What kin of confusion is that? We just had her raking in cash for the nation (through shaking her Zimassets now they want to ban her? This is confusion in the highest order. Let her dance so long as she dances in designated and welcoming areas. Her popularity is beyond a shadow of doubt, thankfully no one is yet thinking of having her go to BBA. *yikes! Perish that thought.)


I will leave you with these words from the man himself, minister of Tourism:


“Carnivals have a poetic licence or special dispensation to do things in a way that may be ordinarily viewed as irregular….If we are going to succeed with future carnival editions in Zimbabwe, we have to develop a higher degree of tolerance for other people’s cultures, otherwise the international endorsement that we seek from other countries for our events and destination will elude us….Every year, we watch the Rio Carnival on our TVs and not on a single day have our critics come out. (Evidently, these have not been shown on national broadcaster, or have they?)…Does wearing a pair of trousers, mini skirt and other skimpy outfits by our beautiful women constitute Zimbabwean culture? Nhembe, migwada, mhapa and shashiko certainly do…Let us not arrogate to ourselves the higher moral ground, which we actually don’t occupy or pontificate on issues we actually don’t comprehend. (Ihemeni minister iroro…sorry, can’t translate)…(he went on to point out what counted, for him) – the pursuit of happiness and enhancing the well being of our people away from their recurrent challenges of unemployment, cash shortages and deprivation. (I just have no idea how happy e can be given all that we face, as he rightly puts it…but then again, tourism is about happiness, I guess he is following the mandate of his portfolio, so sue him! Ah!) The article is available here.


More pictures for your viewing (dis)pleasure:





Please note that this was at night!!

Please note that this was at night!!

Is this not what we see at shows? (I am yet to attend any where women dressed as above are seen)

Is this not what we see at shows? (I am yet to attend any where women dressed as above are seen)



need I say more, this is not for the prude

need I say more, this is not for the prude…if THIS pic made it to the net, what really transpired at that lounge, that night?


HIV/AIDS: my own reasoning and recommendations

I know that I was meant to share my AIR TO BED entry but something more pressing came thru.

This goes primarily to those in the HIV/AIDS sector:
Can we have programs that are all-ages inclusive? I’m tired of hearing ‘young people this, young people that’. We all know that young people are not the key players in this. We have a lot of irresponsible older men and women who are central to MCPs (multiple concurrent partners) but I hear vague and passing comments/advice directed toward them. It’s usually ‘young girls have sugar daddies/young men have sugar mummies’ etc
And the tone is downright disgusted and conveys just how ‘immoral’ such acts are.

However I’m yet to hear the same tone directed at the very ‘sugar’ adults. Maybe I’m wrong but can we look at it and see how we can begin to attack this holistically? After all, it’s these old men who prey on young women. It is these older people who make themselves ‘irresistible’ to the young, foolish and highly impressionable young folk.

Let’s not run away from the truth and reality here- do we blame the passenger for boarding a Kombi or we blame the driver/Kombi for making an illegal stop? The truth is this- stats show that infection rate of HIV is around 8% in youths whilst in ‘full’ adults it’s higher, the rate even higher among married women!

I’m aware that the general infection rate globally has declined in adults but is doubling amongst the youths. In my small reasoning, I’ve subtracted those who were born HIV positive and I’m left with the HIV free youths engaging in sex amongst themselves. Let’s assume, there’s no infection here or at least the rate is negligible. My small thinkin then goes on to ask- who’s introducing HIV to the young people to cause such an alarming rate of infection? My small thinkin tells me it’s the silent adults who are coming thru and ‘proving’ that they are the next best thing to have ever happened to youths since clubbing became an  everyday thing.

Yet we rarely address this. We have politicians who have extra marital affairs including sleeping around with young girls and boys yet not a word is said! We protect the ‘integrity’ of the leaders! Whiskey Tango Fox-trot!!! We have leaders who have children all over the shore yet we turn blind eyes to these stupid acts because ‘men do that’ Wait a minute, we are teaching young men the ABCEFGHIs of life yet when the very same boys are now ‘men’ the lessons no longer apply and can be chucked away? What’s wrong with that picture?

It seems to me as if morals only apply to young men and all women but don’t apply when it comes to ‘men’ and sex! How else do we explain the cursing of women who have extra-marital affairs or who choose to have sexual partners without the ‘dignity’ of marriage’ yet we ‘expect’ and anticipate’ for men to be sexual conquerors of all and any woman in sight? This duplicity is one of the reasons, if not the major reason why fighting HIV in our very ‘cultural’ and heavily patriarchal parts of the world is such a feat.

Until we take a stance and demand that men face up to their actions and begin to act according to the dictates of pure manhood, we’re fighting a losing battle. We’re going round in circles and expecting, even planning, that we’re on course to a destination that lies somewhere outside this circle. Until we take off the burden of fighting HIV/AIDS from the shoulders of the youth and place it upon the adults, we’re fighting a losing battle because youth is only but for a moment.

To begin with, it’s the adults who’ve let down the baton of openly discussing growth, maturity, responsibility and sexual health issues with the young people. If that generation of mothers and fathers, aunts and uncles had not let that other generation of youth to their own devices, we might not even be in this situation. Now, we’re trying to bolt the pen after the horse has bolted out! That generation of adults inserted the seed of irresponsibility into adulthood and the seed seems to be spouting shoots all over the shore and growing deeper!

Can we have parents who are real parents? Who care enough about the future of their children such that they not only teach their children about growing up, but include lessons on responsibility, accountability and also on sexual health issues. I’m seeking for that generation of parents who are not two faced enough to be teaching their offspring yet sneaking behind their biological children`s backs and sleeping with their children`s peers. We cannot be raising young people who are encouraged to Abstain, Be faithful to one uninfected partner [that reminds me, are we then saying that it’s okay to cheat on infected partners? Just asking aloud], young people who Correctly and consistently use Condoms as well as Delaying early sexual activity yet once they become adults, we expect and even anticipate that
‘men are attracted to younger, ‘fresher’ women whom they each want to deflower (whatever all that nonsense even means I won’t hazard to guess)? Once adults, these ‘men’ will ‘taste and sample’ and ‘thrive on variety’? Once these young men are married ‘they don’t use condoms in the marital bed‘?

What is all this coz I’m confused by our society? I’m confused by how much we groom teams to fill in the very wells that we’re digging. Can we get this whole conversation begin to address everyone and not just THE select few?

The unsettled mind

“And God blessed them and said to them, Be fruitful, multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue it [using all its vast resources in the service of God and man]; and have dominion over the fish of the sea, the birds of the air, and over every living creature that moves upon the earth.”
This verse has been abused thoroughly! I imagine that when this man ofthe frocks, gumbura, was stating that he wants to have 100 children, he probably would cite this bit. We know of religions that use this passage of scripture to have kids and kids galore.

My question is simple really- I get the whole ‘fill the earth’ bit but now the earth IS full- why are we aiming to have it overfull? Ha! I’m astounded.

Somethin crazy my friend said- on watching African movies: the movie states ’30 years later’ yet you will see that the dog is still alive and not aged at all. The parents of the child don’t grow grey hair neither does the woman change hairstyle! Lol

I think that by now you realise that all this is not connected at all! I’m having random thoughts, random inspiration.

Oh yes, now I know why my mind is all over the shore- Uganda is reported to have passed some Anti- pornography bill that sees mini skirts banned as ‘they contribute to moral’ degradation or some such! Whiskey Tango Fox-Trot! What THE! Who sat in that parliament and passed that bill? We are not even going back to stone age we are going beyond that to somewhere the mind doesn’t even think!!

This is one stupid law that comforts men into thinking that immorality is caused by women! No, immorality is caused by the choices ppl make! When someone chooses to do somethin immoral there most probably would be no mini skirt in sight. Ugandan parliament needs to know this- repressing women thru monitoring our dressing isn’t going to make you any more moral! The next thing we’ll hear is how you would have banished women to some closed off space just to ‘bring morality’ back to Uganda! Then and only then, will you realise that the morals of ppl have nothing to do with the clothes or lack of, on their skin!

Sex, sex and more sex: the curious cases of clitoral envy

“I am a woman and I love sex!” 

Don’t you? 


                                                                (more like from my finger tips, in this case)

This, I am directing to all the prudes and would be moral-thread weavers. It seems so shocking that women have sex and actually enjoy having it…having it good, I might add. Don’t you even dare turn up your nose at this truth!  It seems to me as if the people in this my nation, become outraged whenever there is any slight indication or mention of women having sex. Be it when women allegedly go out on ‘men-raping sprees’ or when we stand on street corners and opt to offer men a warmer and more lubricated inducer (when compared to the hand) of their big O in exchange for some Obamas or some Zumas. (I won’t add that the inducer being sought IS the accepted modus operandi towards these men’s sexual satisfaction. I am not talking about the morality or immorality of this besides, no one is really bothered to cast the morality light when it comes to men’s sexual activities as well as their sexual satisfaction…)

Coitus is largely regarded to be between two consenting adults and we have thus far let it to be that way. There are, of course, variations to this generally accepted ‘norm’ and yet, once again, I will not delve into that. I have a huge bone to chew with the society from which I come…more accurately, with some of the media elements that are operating within it. It seems as if sexual intercourse and more-so, sexual satisfaction (please understand Orgasm), is the sole prerogative for men. 


                                                                   (no need to raise your hands or smirk)

Most people masturbate (men, this is not just you, btw) and yet we all keep it to ourselves. It’s not like these women were masturbating in public spaces, excuse you!!! The way I have understood this, there were two people behind the covers of their walls (bedroom, rented hotel/ lodge or whatever housed them at that point, it does not matter.) These adults were probably Full Monty (who really knows…at the time of this I am not aware of any information pertaining to the dress code in the aforementioned ‘tapes’ nor do I want to be acquainted with that knowledge). Up to this point (at least as far as the ‘tapes’ and/ pics) the couple(s) are engaging in (hopefully) some amazingly hot and satisfying sexual intercourse…just like any other consenting adults would be if they were in their own private space. 

I will look at the so-called ‘morality cry’ that is being raised and used to attack women who appear in the privately recorded vids. Anyone who is NOT married and is having sex had better shut up at this point. Anyone who IS married and is having extra-marital sex- shut up ! Going Biblical here, anyone who IS NOT MARRIED and is masturbating themselves to orgasm, and YOU as well who is still a sexual intercourse virgin but is or has (been) kissed (as an expression of sexual desire) and has (been) touched someone else in a sexual manner. Let me say it as it is….s/he who has LOOKED at a member of the opposite sex and THOUGHT of them in sexual terms (Jesus Christ Himself says so in the Word, look it up yourself.) This individual MUST just shut up and get angry with the right person…the individual who saw it fit to so distastefully such privacy with the public. That is where the shame belongs, with the sick person who probably has sticky fingers and a web history of porn sites and has finds it amazing that two adults in Zimbabwe can capture themselves having sex on a video. As far as I am concerned, this is no different to how others prefer using ribbed, studded, flavored etc condoms, nor is it any different to the various games people play to enhance their enjoyment of coitus: (being) BDM or any other styles of getting funky and wild. I don’t care about what you like or do not like between the covers, as long as it is not in our face. 


                                                                     (it’s not just men, btw)

(Perhaps the fascination does not lie in the sex tapes themselves but rather in how the women in the sex tapes are real women. Women that we know (at least as vaguely as we can), women with whom we share this very air we breathe. Women, unlike the favorite porn stars on those X-rated sites men (and some women, at that) tend to stroke and touch themselves to mindless ecstasy in the privacy of their homes and offices. These women speak and understand our own mother tongue and…OH HORROR of all horrors, they are not paid/-hired-drugged-and-probably-sex-slaving-young-women-from-some-other-amoral-corner-of-the-immoral-world. The jury is still out on whether the porn stars ‘act’ the pleasure or that is really how (some) women enjoy sexual intercourse. {The little birdie in my ear whispers that most of the guys in them vids are a fairly accurate representation of the ‘average package’ give or take a few enhancers…lol, sorry Mr Pinkie…and that’s a lot of you}. Coming back to my point, I think the fascination and the outrage by most people is at how the Zimbabwean women who have been on the receiving end of sex-tape backlash  defy convention and do what most people are too prude to carry out. These women have dared to do what the ‘immoral’ ones do by recording their pleasure! 

For whatever reason that they recorded these vids, I say way to go. Be it for a post-mortem, private viewing, private pleasurable archives or just for the heck of it, atta girls! It’s long overdue that we stop apologizing for wanting and enjoying sex. After all, the clitoris is the only body part whose SOLE function is to solicit pleasure and guess what, it is only us women who have it!! This, I believe, is why some men just hate women and will try at every turn to bring us down through name-calling. They somehow feel emasculated for either failing to be a useful and pleasurable part of sex with their own partners or is it because they fear that their own women will begin to demand that sex becomes enjoyable for them (the women) as the vids show the other women to be enjoying? Hameno, I can only speculate. 

Ps: To YOU who will try and name-call me for baring it like this;

    “Deep down, you are scared senseless that this woman has called you out. It IS JUST sex and this whole business of mouthing off at privately done stuff that has, through some twisted individual suffering from acute clitoral envy, made it into the public domain…your mouthing off does not change that people have sex! Moreover, women are usually a significant part of that act, the half of it to be exact…lol! Get over it and put the shame right where it belongs, with the people who publish private stuff seeking to stir up anger and disgust where it is not. After all, chakafukidza dzimba matenga. Why is anyone seeking to unroof the house? 


{Ps: I suspect my internet is male and held my post in the drafts folder due to clitoral envy….lol}