So it has seemed that Bev Sibanda’s semi-nude pictures have caused quite the sensation on the net. All sorts of moral judgement and “righteous anger” is being directed at this lovely woman who is being branded “Magaya’s problem child” and is purported to be possessed by ”seven-fold demon” and needs “to return to the PHD Ministries church.” ayaas! All good and dandy and I am sure someone is expecting God to pat them on their back and say, “Well done” Sadly, that is not gonna happen.
First and foremost, Bev is a pole dancer…if we cannot call her a bottle dancer …and there is NOTHING “decent” about either of the two. That is also why she ‘dances’ in bars and nightclubs were children and unwilling partakers of this kind of entertainment are not found. herein is my first issue with the organisers of the carnival: How DARE they display for all and sundry to see, view and oogle at the “sacred nature” that men have been enjoying in the privacy of the bars? Bev was to remain a nightclub bottle dancer who was to never be found doing her thang out in public! Now I am even contemplating giving her some wide competition by aiming to sit upon a wider necked bottle than she currently does!! Dafuq! None of this was to have happened had they kept her routine and her wiggly behind out of public eye.
Now I wanna fly to Ivory Coast and other African and Afro-Carribean countries and learn me some bobaraba, kuitata (this gets a tad bit explicit, do not foolow this link if you are averse to some Bev display of the female lower bit of the anatomy) tchoumakaya and some Mapouka but then again there is the Rhumba which we all dance to seriously! And whilst we are on the subject of Rhumba, did you all know that this dance has roots in an Afro-Carribean dance whose name “secousse” means “to shake”? There is also the gouye which is basically fast forward “sele”, the El Mapale from the Afro-Carribea (although these guys could be mistaken to be Zimbabwean, they shake a bit faster at some point, if you are Shona you will identify which dances are familiar here.) Now that we have seen just how PERVETED African dances really are, do we still want to call out the culture card? The Dinhe tutorial here is quite ‘perverted” if I may say so, myself.. what is all that boob and pelvic action?
As for the Jerusarema dance, there really was great reason for the prude missionaries to ban that scandalous dance. How DARE people mimic sexual intercourse and call it a dance? Dafuq! Anyone still scrambling to call for us to return to our culture? Of all our dances, maybe the Ngororombe would be the only safe and clean cultural one- no wiggling of bums and the females seem to be blushing virgins as they dance it. LMAO Back to this carnival and these semi-nude images of our bottle-shoving cum bottling f&*ing sensation. So, a whole minister of Tourism and the organising committee decided to include Bev to the line-up, marketing her as some of our cultural heritage. All great and yummy with some marshmallow. Did they honestly expect her to preach and prophesy at this cuntival…oops, I mean carnival? Yeah, we all know that she had been to the much hyped about church but we also know that Bev had returned to the bottle, so to speak. This was no secret so I am seriously wondering WHY and HOW people will only be raising a stink AFTER the cuntival. It was well advertised that Bev would be a part of the line up, so why did no one raise their voice and scream bloody murder as soon as the first advert ran on the national broadcaster? Interestingly, if Bev was said to be semi-nude then what would we say of the Brazilians? They were near nude! Take a look at these and then compare with our Bev,damn, she is made an angel.
She even rocked up fully dressed for the carnival daylight parade and she even stopped dancing when people would mob her! (and I just had to forget where I spotted pics of her in some metallic silver catsuit of some sorts. Damn! ) Now, from WHERE is the hatred coming? I even hear that they want to revoke her licence? What kin of confusion is that? We just had her raking in cash for the nation (through shaking her Zimassets now they want to ban her? This is confusion in the highest order. Let her dance so long as she dances in designated and welcoming areas. Her popularity is beyond a shadow of doubt, thankfully no one is yet thinking of having her go to BBA. *yikes! Perish that thought.)
I will leave you with these words from the man himself, minister of Tourism:
“Carnivals have a poetic licence or special dispensation to do things in a way that may be ordinarily viewed as irregular….If we are going to succeed with future carnival editions in Zimbabwe, we have to develop a higher degree of tolerance for other people’s cultures, otherwise the international endorsement that we seek from other countries for our events and destination will elude us….Every year, we watch the Rio Carnival on our TVs and not on a single day have our critics come out. (Evidently, these have not been shown on national broadcaster, or have they?)…Does wearing a pair of trousers, mini skirt and other skimpy outfits by our beautiful women constitute Zimbabwean culture? Nhembe, migwada, mhapa and shashiko certainly do…Let us not arrogate to ourselves the higher moral ground, which we actually don’t occupy or pontificate on issues we actually don’t comprehend. (Ihemeni minister iroro…sorry, can’t translate)…(he went on to point out what counted, for him) – the pursuit of happiness and enhancing the well being of our people away from their recurrent challenges of unemployment, cash shortages and deprivation. (I just have no idea how happy e can be given all that we face, as he rightly puts it…but then again, tourism is about happiness, I guess he is following the mandate of his portfolio, so sue him! Ah!) The article is available here.
More pictures for your viewing (dis)pleasure: