The Arrogance of the penis

I am sure I do not hold these sentiments alone although I might be alone in voicing them. I am seriously disgusted by the behaviour of some of the members of the opposite gender. It appears as if they have no sense of decorum at all. There are quite a number who just arbitrarily yank out their winkies from their trousers and point at some tree, wall, wheel or whatever feature is convenient at that particular moment and wee! Thank goodness beings move, lest we would have cases of children that have been on the receiving end of these seemingly haphazardly irrigating human pipes. (I would bet my bottom dollar that there are cases, even animals that have been urinated upon although no one would admit to it- whether they have been the urinator or the urinatedee.) The case of that musician who did it on some under-age girl is something else that I shall not use as evidence in this particular case.

So common place has become this practice (of urinating anywhere else but inside a W.C (pronounce this with the accent) as the French call the little room) that one actually anticipates that the next man is gonna whip out his willy and take aim anytime! This is one of the most disgusting practices that men have gotten away with notwithstanding the fact that law prohibits it. To note that this is done not only by drunks but even those men with whom one would associate sobriety is even more alarming. Excuse me for not having a penis, but I think that that particular piece of anatomy is one of the least visually appealing body parts on men and should just be kept hidden from unrestricted spotlight, even when there is no one ‘watching/looking’ or within eyesight. Even if I were into penis watching, I am quite sure that I would not want to look at just any! Surely it was no fluke that it was designed to be buried inside Ms Vagina during intercourse!

Speaking of which…. I think that the penis ought to have come with a head that had a brain. It cannot just assume that every woman its master comes across must get a nod of acknowledgement (worse encounters have it standing to attention!) Such a gesture is just uncouth and coarse especially when it is for any chance woman, which is usually the majority of the cases. And mentioning uncouth, there is yet another thing that men do that just riles women all over the world. It occurs during another of these ‘leaking fluid’ events that humans engage in. The ugly looking member having engorged and become as turgid as can be, and thus finally become eye-catching and, promising fulfilment and pleasures galore, only manages a few strokes before spewing out spermatozoa! (Okay, this is probably not its fault but that of its master who, in most cases, lacks self-control and knowledge of how to illuminate pleasure in his partner and this incidentally, serves as one reason to campaign for Peepee to have his own brain.) I want to believe that it wilting upon ejaculation is its own way of trying to blush on behalf of its master who lies spent, unaware that if progenies were a result of female orgasm, the human race would have probably faced the fate of the dodo. Yet such is the arrogance of the penis that it shall still rise to nod for another woman, erect for another attractive one whether she reciprocates the feeling or not, it shall insist and agree to coming out from the covering of clothing to urinate on some feature and ultimately, it shall vomit into Ms Vagina after being sexified. Such arrogance!

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17 thoughts on “The Arrogance of the penis

  1. it’s me again the penis defender, my man does not urinate in public but those who do let me say it is UTTERLY disgusting and indecent i like the penis alright but it is not a free X-rated movie you can’t download your penis paseri pe OK, TM, SPAR, MUSANGO maybe it is just nasty nasty nasty shit. can i say “shit” on this sight? if you can say penis i can say “shit” its my democratic right viva lucky kunene

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  2. After peeing they then come and want to shake hands with you while trying to ask you out. There are NO sinks on every wall or tree. I don’t shake hands with men as a rule. I learnt from my granny who always insists that all men (even family members) wash their hands after women even if we are using the jug and bowl method. Not impressive men and not healthy either

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  3. yah i will not speak rutendo my sister try to borrow 1 just for a day and see the results its the way god made it full stop

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  4. The issue of peeing in public happens to people of all gender. Just depends on where you leave. In parts of another country, women were at the forefront even in broad daylight. The other issues well i cannot comment, it appears some people are commending about what haapens in their homes so address it as your home issue. Its good for men to be faihtful to their partners and also important for women not just to talk but take action and refuse to be sex objects e.g in music videos, some modelling displays, pornographic material. Food for thought.

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  5. I thought penis envy ended at 12- at 27 you let out another Freudian slip sister…we have known that all along- it won’t change the anatomy- maybe the behaviours- keep writing!

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    • apparently i also forgot to mention how men also tend to scratch their jewels in public! I must agree with you that the ‘music’ of wee hitting the water does get to me, too, never mind the toilet seat left up! arggg. lol

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  6. This is piece is funny, it is insightful, it is irreverent. It is written with the flippancy of one who refuses (rightly so) to hide behind euphemisms when things are always better stated clearly and sincerely as they are.

    I have nothing against the penis – in its right place and at the right time and for the right reasons; its appearance, function and execution of duty is a thing worth celebrating so yes – I join in your dismay at how this glorious and pleasurable organ is so unnecessarily abused, inappropriately displayed and treated in such a cavalier fashion without due regard for the valuable asset it is.

    Society insists that vaginas (especially ones with the hymens are intact) are sacred entities that must be handled with discretion and utmost stinginess – it is unfair that a similar notion of treasuring private parts does not extend to the vast majority of our male counterparts. There is nothing at all appealing about a guy who wants to dip his willie every where…not cool at all.

    And yes, I agree with you this public peeing is so gross, uncouth and offends our aesthetic sensibilities.

    Simply put – you nailed it! 🙂

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